i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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