dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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