The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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