morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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