you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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