I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
