My room smells like vodka and shame
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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