Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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