So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
