ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize