please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
