i may or may not be watching the land before time
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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