Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
