Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
