He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
