All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
