Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
