I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
