what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
