Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Boobs are out for the taking
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
