What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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