If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
