so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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