I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
