sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need to calm my uterus...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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