i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
