we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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