Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
