they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
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