yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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