GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
