At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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