Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
