perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
