Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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