theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
