the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
