In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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