if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
