Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
