i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
