Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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