It's like God shit irony all over that family
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
