I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
