yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
