I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
