I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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