Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
