Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
