you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
