I just made out with a guy for $7.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
