How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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