Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
