I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
