I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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