You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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