like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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