omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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