She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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