Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
