Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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