the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
