I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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