FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
