his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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