the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
